Thursday, 20 June 2013

My Mr. Right; Where is He?

At the tail end of the story, Cinderella found her prince charming, and they lived happily ever after. Sleeping Beauty had been lured to bite a poisonous apple, she immediately fell under a spell; until she gets the kiss from her true love, she would never wake up from her endless sleep. Guess what happened, in the end, her prince in a shining armour appeared from nowhere, plant a deep kissed on the lips of Sleeping Beauty, she immediately woke up from her sleep, and Happily Ever After, she lived with her saving prince. You and I know what happened in Rapunzel right? yeah, her prince climbed up to the tower where Rapunzel had been arrested by her wicked mum. They both ran away to a place where they lived Happily ever After....These are the stories read to us when we were kids. These fantasy stories made us believe there is always this special man who would come to the rescue, and when he does, all our problems would be solved. It is only this Prince who can sweep us from our feet and introduce us to a love so divine, to a love we have never experienced, to a love that would even make the Greek gods of love, Eros and Cupid very envious of us.

These stories have been able to shape our idea of a perfect man who we by all means have to meet before we can actually find fulfillment in love relationships. I once asked a lady friend of mine what she hopes for in a man she would like to marry in future. Here is her list; He should be tall and handsomely crafted. He should have enough muscles with visible six packs, he should be a working man with at least a car or two, he should be loving, caring and sensitive to my pains, he should be committed and God-fearing, (almost in whispers, she said) he should have a sizable penis, and some hair on his chest. To her, this is the kind of man she could really love, so when the time comes and she doesn't get such a man or even gets someone who possess at least two or thee properties out of her  endless list, she would end up being disillusioned and disappointed. This is the point where ladies begin to ask themselves questions like "Why am I so unlucky in love?" "What did I do wrong?". Well the answer to those questions is much simpler than we think; we've done no wrong but there is no such thing like Mr. Right. It is not in our stars to find someone so perfect when we are not ourselves perfect. Our looking for prince charming would end up to be a no-show not because we did something wrong but because men are people—not fictionalized characters. it's about time we learnt to wake up from our romantic fantasy so as to find what true love really means.  As Marianne puts it, “Looking for Mr. Right leads to desperation, because there is no Mr. Right. There is no Mr. Right, because there is no Mr. Wrong. There is whoever is in front of us and the perfect lessons to be learned from that person."

Men come in different shape and in different form, it is, therefore, not wrong to look for the best. In our pursuit of looking for the man who would give a different meaning to our love life, we should be guided by the fact that men are who they are. Some might look perfect today, he might tick all the boxes of perfection but the question is, would he be this perfect forever? Changes may come along the path but it is how we work things out that would determine the life span of our relationship. There is no perfect man for us if we are not ready to stay and carve a perfect relationship for ourselves. After Michelangelo has finished carving one of his greatest work of art, someone asked him, "how were you able to carve such a beautiful angel from a marble?" Michelangelo answered; I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." There's already an angel in the marble of the man we are living with, Let's stay and carve till we set him free.

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